On the Menu – Monkey Butt

**WARNING** Not for the squimish.

I have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to things such as the story I am about to share, but I think I read it to many times cause my stomach is doing flips right now just thinking about it.  But I am so shocked by it, I had to share for the rest of you sick puppies out there.  It is quite funny if you can get past how gross it is.

Not sure if you have heard this story or not.  I heard it on the radio this morning along with all the jokes that followed.  I actually had to look it up to see if there was a picture of this VERY STRANGE man… and yep, my curiosity was satisfied when I found there was a picture posted.  Keep in mind when you read the news article this man performed this act for an HOUR – yeah 60 mins !

Zoo Keeper Helps Constipated Monkey Pass Peanut By Licking Its Butt For An Hour

Zoo Keeper Helps Constipated Monkey Pass Peanut By Licking Its Butt For An Hour

As stories about a Chinese zoo keeper licking a monkey’s butt in order to save its life go, this one from chinaSMACK is by far the most endearing.

After a young Francois’ leaf monkey in his care consumed a peanut that had been tossed into its enclosure, Wuhan Zoo employee Zhang Bangsheng noticed that the animal had become dangerously constipated.

Being too big to pass through the monkey’s system naturally, the peanut had to be extracted manually. Apparently, that meant licking it out.

Zhang told local reporters the three-month-old lutung was too small for laxatives, so he had no choice but to extract the wayward legume with his lingua. After washing the its bottom with warm water (because not doing so would be disgusting), Zhang spent an hour polishing the monkey’s pooper before the peanut finally popped out.

What became of it is up to your filthy imagination, but chinaSMACK says the caretaker subsequently “laughed with satisfaction.”

[photo via chinaSMACK via Quirkies]

 

Can you believe what you just read?  I heard it first so I was still surprised when I read it.  Monkey’s are so cute, but I don’t care how cute, I’m not putting my mouth, lips, or tongue anywhere near ones hind parts.  Just think he licked his bum for 1 hour.  I have never licked anything for that long.  I still don’t know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop.  I have so many questions about this, such as:

1. Who first discovered you could urge an animal to poop by licking it’s booty?
2. Is the man who did the licking married and does his wife consider this cheating?
3. If this man can lick for an hour and still have a smile, why would he ever settle down and get married?
4. Was there Listerine, alcohol, disinfectant available after this lick fest?
5. Did he get a raise for such a heroic duty?
6. How many other animals in the zoo have been serviced by this employee?
7. Is it considered beastiality, and what does it say about those that stood by and watched for an hour?

Okay, I will stop, cause now I am just cracking myself up and if anyone here at work hears me, I don’t want to explain I am thinking about a man licking monkey butts… might just be to difficult to explain.

Well congrats to the monkey who survived the peanut !!

 

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2 responses to “On the Menu – Monkey Butt

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