It’s kinda strange that yesterday Dr. Phil’s episode was about violent teens. The main guest was a family with a very violent 15 yr old boy that did all kinds of violent acts. Several of the things he did, were also things that Chris’s son has done recently or in the past. Some of the things including:
*Yelling and Lashing out at parents / adults
*Being aggressive toward other children / peers
*Being suspended and having detention
*Cursing and yelling at teachers / coaches
*Threw a desk at a teacher.
*Throwing objects, breaking things.
*Lying, talking back
*Stealing, being sneaky, hiding objects
*Talking aggressively, finding pleasure in violence and weapons
That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I asked Chris to sit down with me and watch the Dr Phil episode. I just kept looking over at Chris and then I said do you see why I have the fears I do? Then the CPS worker who had come earlier to pick his son up to take him for a visit with his mom and younger bro and sister brought him back to the house. She told us that he acted out during the visit at the CPS office, and lashed out at his mother. He was screaming and yelling at her, calling her a liar and they had to get a police officer to restrain him in another room. I asked Chris after the CPS worker left, do you see what I am trying to tell you? Chris always comes back with “have you seen him act that way over here?” I said well not really, but he is over here for maybe a day or two every once in awhile. He’s not here permanently and so it’s sorta like a vacation from his normal routine so he’s not going to act out cause it’s like a reward to get away. I said but once he’s been here awhile and you (Chris) start telling him NO and you (Chris) start taking away things as a punishment or you (Chris) tell him his friends can’t come over or start telling him to do his chores or getting onto him about things then you (Chris) will see him lash out at you. I told him to MARK MY WORDS. I said those are the times I am worried about.
So then I was trying to explain to Chris that his whole life he has made excuses for his own behavior and at this point he tells me things like I don’t know how to communicate, that he doesn’t know how to show love the right way, that he doesn’t know how to show respect the right way because he wasn’t taught how to do so growing up. He just makes excuses about everything. I said you are teaching your son to do the same thing. This conversation started when Chris opened his son’s report card and he failed PE. I said who the fuck fails PE? He said he failed because he wouldn’t dress out. I said, REALLY? So he’s choosing to be rebellious?? See what I mean? He said well he was at his mother’s and all this stuff was going on. I said you baby him and coddle him too much. I said he will never mature into anything responsible because he will only learn to make excuses like you do.