Say it like you mean it.

Well I previously posted that last night Chris and I finally got into it. Things were so not going well at all and it was a very restless night for me.  Turns out it was quite the restless night for Chris as well, but not for the same reasons.  Turns out he was up chatting with an “old” friend on facebook… I happened to log into his fb account today and found their conversation that went on to about 330 this morning. So I copied the conversation he had with her for your reading pleasure as well.  He definitely confirms that I have been asking him to get a place for him and his son for over 2 months and he just disregarded my wishes.  

Chris: 

hey you there

Jennifer: hi
Chris: 

hello
Jennifer: whats up?

Chris: not much just needed someone to talk to

and you were online

Jennifer: Is everything ok
Chris: no not really
Jennifer: I juts got my ass kicked in farkel
Chris:
 lol. my son just moved back in with me. 
Jennifer: 
how is that going? 
Chris:
 but samantha does not want him here
Jennifer:
 oic, y? 
Chris: 
she says she is afraid of him cause he drew a picture one time of her with a knife in samantha’s head
Jennifer: 
he’s a kid
Chris:
 my son has been getting into a lot of trouble at school lately and fighting a lot she says he is very aggressive and it makes her feel unsafe. She told me this 2 months ago and I did not know what to say.  It made  me feel like I am wasting my time here with her.  I thought she wanted to be a family and she does not want to deal with my son. Yes he comes with issues but he is my son and will always be my son.
Jennifer: Right
Chris: 3 days before Christmas CPS called me and said they had removed my son from Stormi’s home, it was very unexpected. I had no choice but to have hi move in here.  Tonight she told me she wants me out.
Jennifer: Why did they take him?
Chris: Cause his brother overdosed on someones medication, they removed all the kids.
Jennifer: Oh crap. Maybe CPS can help you get a place…Ive heard sometimes they can.
Chris: she also says I do not communicate with her enough. I can get a place I am not worried about that. My boss will help me. I am just worried about not having a VEHICLE.  She got a 2nd vehicle 4 months ago so I would have a vehicle to get to and from work and now it is her vehicle and that leaves me stranded.  No way to get to work…if I move close to work then there is no buses to get to the train station to get to school.  I am just stressing really hard. I know everything will be fine.
Jennifer: When does she want you out?
Chris: She just said she wanted us out. I guess I am going to ask my boss tomorrow to help me get into a place ASAP. I have to go and report in the morning.  I guess I am not emotionally available for her cause I am trying to work everyday and go to school to make more money when I work and I already have trouble getting in community service hours and NA meetings.  Now I am not making enough time for her and I am being selfish.
Jennifer:  you just busy
Chris:sorry for spilling all that on you, thanks for listening
Jennifer: no problem hope everything works out ok
Chris: me too

I did call him up at work and ask if his boss helped him find a place today.  He said no.  I said well that’s what you told Jennifer you were gonna do.  He knew I had checked his fb then.  I then found out that the probation officer didn’t do anything to him about not doing his community service and NOT going to his NA meetings. I have to say I was quite disappointed in the system.  What do we pay all these state and county taxes for when the system is obviously failing?  Then I asked him if he got his son enrolled in school and he said no and I asked why and he said because I have to go down to the school and sign some paperwork saying that his son lives in my home.  I started laughing and so ohhh of course I do… Just another thing I HAVE to do.  Well tonight was rough yet again.  We actually got into a conversation and he kept saying, I’m sorry you feel that way.  It was driving me nuts.  I said it’s not about the way I feel, it’s about the facts.  Let’s lay it out there.  I said did I or did I not come to you months ago with my concerns? Did I not tell you what I was worried about, concerned about and what did you say? NOTHING?? he said yes.  He said he was upset that I didn’t welcome his son with open arms. I said that not everyone was going to and that he couldn’t get upset about that. He cannot force his son on me and he cannot force me to be uncomfortable in my own home.  He kept saying how he gives me his paychecks and I said and what does that go to? His probation, his court fees, his fines, his school, books, etc.  I said then when that’s all gone who has to pay the rent, utilities, the food and the rest of the bills and he said you (ME).  He said that he sees it as his and my money being put together as OUR money to pay OUR bills and that’s how I should look too.  So I said basically what your saying is if I want to be with you and live with you then I have to pay your bills and cover you ass because you don’t have a job that pays you enough to take care of yourself.  It took him awhile, but he finally said yes that’s true.  He said what other choice do I have.  I said get another job.  I said I did.  Why is it that I make great money but had to get a 2nd job to help cover your bills and worked 7 days a week for over a year for your bills?? But you can’t do the same?  I told him that this was a joke and that this was not a relationship and that he used me for what he could get out of me and that this free ride had ended and he needed to get out.  He said he would and then proceeded to ask me if i would help him move out.  OMG, I think my head almost exploded.

So we shall see…

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It has hit the fan !!

Is it dirt, dust, poo – that’s it !! The shit has hit the fan !!  Last night was a rough night in my house.  It has been brewing and this volcano is about to explode.  It started months ago, but it’s all starting to get much more intense.  I previously mentioned my concerns with Chris’s son moving into my house and how afraid I was of that.  I tried talking to Chris about this over and over many times during the last couple of months because I wanted him to find a place for the 2 of them before he got custody so that there was no need for his son to come into my house and then move again later into another place with Chris.  I didn’t want it to look like I didn’t want him here to his son.  I was trying to make it easier on his son.  Well, Chris totally disregarded my feelings and went ahead and moved his son in without even discussing it with me.  I was at work when CPS picked his son up from the psychiatric hospital he had been taken to for trying to assault his mother and another adult male while at the CPS office during a visitation with him.  The foster family he had been staying with did not want him back and so they call the psych hospital to come and restrain him and take him to the institution.  Would anyone else besides me, be alarmed at this???  Just so you are all aware, when this child was 11 and lived with me for 6 months he went to school one day and was angry at me for taking his video games away for something he did wrong and he drew a picture of me with a knife in my head.  The teacher called me at work to have me get a hold of Chris so he could come up to the school, that’s when she told me what he had done.  The kid is now 15 and I don’t think he draws pictures anymore… but could be more capable of doing the action vs. drawing it.  These are just some of the reasons for my fears.  I don’t want to live in fear in my own home.  As of late since he moved in, I have pretty much stayed to myself in my room when I have been at home.  It shouldn’t have to be that way either.  Chris refuses to communicate with me about anything.  The only time he really talks to me about anything that is going on is when he needs something or wants something from me, like money, a vehicle, me to do something for me, etc.  Yesterday he was trying to enroll his son in school.  He texts me at work telling me the school needs a utility bill in his name or he needs to have himself and his son added to the lease on my house.  I told him that wasn’t going to happen.  I told him that I wasn’t going to change my life around and rearrange my bills and my lease.  I had also given him $100 bill on sunday for gas and ask that he bring me the change back, which he did not.  I got upset last night and told him that he didn’t need to be driving my vehicles anymore because I couldn’t afford the gas that he was running out.  He’s not helping me with any bills and I can’t afford it all.  He got upset and threw money in my face and said, “Here’s your fucking money”.  It fell to the floor at my feet and I just kicked it toward him and said forget it.  I tried to go into my room and shut the door behind me and that’s when he pushed it open hitting my hand with the door.  He then stood in the doorway where I could not shut the door.  I asked him several times to go away and to just leave me alone.  I told him he was going to take it to a point of no return and he was going to act stupid and do something he couldn’t take back so he needed to stop and just go to his room.  He just stood there.  He then told me he wanted the diamond necklace he bought me for Christmas back.  I couldn’t believe it, but I said that’s fine, it’s in the bathroom on the top of the vanity.  He said he was going to return it and get the money back on it.  I said do what you have to do.  I said while you’re at it go ahead and steal whatever else it is you’re gonna steal, you’re good at that right?? (He broke into my house and stole quite a bit last time I broke up with him)  I told him if we went there and took back everything we got for each other, he would be walking out of the house with the clothes he had on from jail.  He has nothing without me.  He wouldn’t leave my room, so I ended up undressing in front of him and then crawling into bed… guess he can look at what he can’t have anymore.  He stood in the doorway for about 20 mins, not saying anything before he finally closed the door and went to his room.  Then he started with the texts…. Here’s how it went:

CHRIS: I have to be at the probation office at 7am and then work after that. I may have to go sign papers on my lunch break to get (my son) enrolled in school. Will you be able to take me to that also? 
ME: No
CHRIS: So what do I need to do. Wed I have a 1 o’clock appointment I will have to go to. How do I get there? 
ME: When did that become my responsibility?
ME: But then I don’t do anything for you, right?
CHRIS: When you said I could not take the car to go anywhere. 
ME: Well I take care of you and feed you and clothe you and keep you outta jail. So maybe you should see what it’s really like w/o me and my ass. 
ME: It’s my car. When did you get a free ride? 
ME: You EXPECT other people to do for you
ME: AND you don’t appreciate anything
ME: I’m done being unappreciated
ME: You don’t love me. You love what I give you and the security and stability I provide for you. 
CHRIS: Who said it has been a free ride? Oh yeah that’s right I do not give you anything or any money or any time. 
ME: The little money that you do make goes toward your shit, like your probation, your tickets, your fines, your school. 
ME: You don’t make enough to cover half the rest of the bills. 
CHRIS: That is your opinion and every time you get mad that is what you say. Some guy is probably telling you this shit. So he can get me out of here. 
ME: This is all your fault for not communicating with me and not caring about my feelings. 
CHRIS: It is always my fault. Never a mutual thing with you. Oh no you could not be wrong on any account.  Since you decided that going to see another man was more important than me and to keep talking to another man was more important than my feelings I do not want to be in the same room with you. You really hurt my feelings but you don’t give a fuck it is what you want to do. 
ME: OK, did you think maybe you pushed me to it? It doesn’t matter now. 
ME: You need to get a place for you and your kid. 
CHRIS: Yea it is always my fault. 
ME: I don’t want this extra drama and stress and you don’t seem to care. 
CHRIS: Yeah I really act like I don’t care. 
ME: You don’t care, I told you 2 months ago I didn’t want him here and you brought him here and moved him in any way.  You never once tried to even discuss it with me, even though I tried talking to you about it over and over for months prior. 
CHRIS: You told me you did not want him here and you were mad a week ago cause I had not talked to you about him coming here. 
ME: YEAH
CHRIS: What is there to talk about if you tell me you do not want him here? 
ME: I said NO and you decided to go ahead anyway against my wishes. 
CHRIS: I will get out of your hair soon since my life has become too much for you. 
ME: Fine
ME: Ur disregard for me is too much, your disrespect for me is too much. 
CHRIS: Will I at least be able to use a vehicle to get back and forth to work and school? 
ME: When? 
ME: It’s funny to me that you can’t have a conversation with me until I do something drastic and then you text me – that’s pitiful. 
CHRIS: Everyday. I have to work and go to school everyday. 
ME: No, I’m not your keeper or your mother, or your guardian. 
CHRIS: No what? 
ME: No to a free ride. 
CHRIS: I don’t know why you think it’s a free ride. 
ME: stop texting me. this is ridiculous. 
Then he came and opened my door and asked if I really wanted him to move out and I said yes and he said ok, fine.
I have a few questions and would really like some HONEST feedback.  I really want to know if I am wrong in my thinking.  Since we have been together (off and on) Chris in the beginning never really worked, turns out he was getting fired for not going to work due to his drug binges – (I wasn’t aware he was not at work).   He has never brought in money and if he did, it wasn’t much at all.  I have ALWAYS worked and always paid the bills.  I have always paid for all the food and extra things we do.  If we go out to eat, I pay.  If we go to a movie, I pay. If we need gas, groceries or anything extra, I pay.  I even pay for his cigarettes and anything else he needs.   So yes, I do get irritated and stressed over money.  I have always felt like I was taking care of him.  It would be one thing if he did more around the house or helped me out in other ways, but he didn’t and doesn’t really do that to this day.  So it would upset me even more.  Sooo now that he is working, he is making steady income, but now he has more bills like his probation, his court fees and fines that he has to pay every month. His school payment, his medical costs (he has no insurance so it’s not cheap),  cost for books, his cigarettes, costs for gas to drive 3 hours to and from school (round trip) up keep on 2 vehicles, his energy drinks, his lunch when he doesn’t want to take a lunch like I do because he’s to lazy to fix it.   So the money he makes barely covers some of those things.  It’s not enough to pay half of the other bills like rent, water, sewer, electric, cable, internet, insurance, medical, food, cell phones, fun activities, dining out, gas and any other odds and ends.  I pay for all of that stuff on my own.  I even took a part-time job which had me working 7 days a week for over a year and it really didn’t benefit me much at all.  I make GREAT money at my regular job and can life a very normal, comfortable life on my own with just my regular job, but with him it’s hard.  I don’t like living pay check to pay check and with him that’s what I do.
So here are my questions…
1. Chris says I should not look at it as his money and my money if we are a couple it should be OUR money.  (I think that’s easy for him to say b/c he’s the one not making all the money and the one being taken care of. )  AM I WRONG IN MY THINKING HERE???
2. Chris says that he is going to school so that he can better himself for ME and take care of me in the future.  (I don’t know for sure that will happen and I asked him if that means I have to take care of him forever until it does.) He says if I want to be a family I shouldn’t have a problem with it.  IS THIS TRUE??? AM I BEING SELFISH??
3. I feel as though I am being punished when I have to help him pay his probation and court fees when he is paying those for being arrested for theft and part of that is for breaking into my house and stealing from me.  AM I WRONG IN THIS FEELING??
Thanks as always to my followers and those that give me such great feedback and advice, I always appreciate it !!

Trashcan Punch

Isn’t trashcan punch what they call it when you toss every possible alcohol within arms distance together in a big bowl or trashcan? Well this post is going to be a form of trashcan punch cause I’m gonna throw a bunch of stuff in here.

Sorry for those of you that were hoping for a recipe 😀 but if you have a good one to share…

So I know I have been neglecting my blog and I deserve a good spanking.  So much has been going on, but then again, isn’t that always my excuse when I’m MIA for a period of time.  Shouldn’t that be when I’m blogging the most? You would think so huh? Well I’ve been known to be half-ass-backwards…

So last I blogged about being at the dr and hoping to get a good report.  I actually did and would like to share some of my results with you.  I was delighted to find out that I had lost 3.5 lbs in 10 days from the date I had started my 2nd diet pill.  So that was super exciting. I was so excited that when the nurse got me back to my room, I warned her that my blood pressure would probably be high because I was excited.  Sure enough it was.  Anyway… I met with my nutritionist, told her all the changes I had made in my diet. Cut out butter almost completely. I had cut back on fried foods, lots more water, more seafood, taking my vitamins and fish oil, using my flax seed and light and greek yogurts and I could tell a big difference since starting these diet pills in my appetite and my energy level.  I told her about joining the YMCA again and she was overall thrilled.  I shared with her my pirates booty, my new favorite healthy snack. Told her about my other healthy go to snacks as well.  She was really excited to see the changes I had made as well.   I then got to see the dr.  We got my blood sugar results back and my A1C had dropped from 8.3 down to 7.2 in 3 months.  I was thrilled.  She was very excited too. She was glad to see that I had improved in testing my sugars and was doing it regularly which I had not been doing previously.  The other reports hadn’t come back yet which were the numbers I really wanted to find out… my cholesterol numbers… so I was a little disappointed.  But I did get to find out before I left for the day.  Here are some of my results.  I was so excited.  My prev date was 8/14, Current date is 11/14

Cholesterol     Prev (236)  Current (143) goal to get lower
Triglyceride    Prev(1051) Current (195) (I ate some garlic butter chicken fajitas the day before blood work prev so that’s why so high) still need to get lower
HDL     Prev (27)  Current (35) still need to get higher
LDL Cholesterol   Prev (90)  Current (69)

The report – I saw it actually said “LDL (bad cholesterol) should be under 100 mg/dl. Your LDL cholesterol is good!”  I have NEVER had anything say anything to do with my cholesterol was GOOD… I was so thrilled and was so happy to see that my hard work was actually showing.

The dietitian called me later in the week to tell me how proud she was and told me that they never have patients that bring their numbers down that fast in that short amount of time ever. I felt really good about the progress I was making and it makes me only want to continue and do more and try harder.

So yesterday 12/04/12 I had another follow up with my reg dr here in town that I see with my diet pill and da dat da daaa… I lost 6 lbs this month !! I was so excited.  I haven’t been trying as hard as I can or should and I haven’t been really restricting myself from anything except butter and sweets.  So now that I see that just that is working I’m gonna kick it into gear.  I went shopping with my sister on Saturday after we pampered ourselves at the spa first.  While trying on clothes the sales lady brought me the wrong size, (size smaller) and I wasn’t sure about trying it on, but I did anyway… IT FIT PERFECT !!! I was so excited, I almost squealed in the dressing room.  I almost ran to the check out to buy them 🙂   So that totally made my day.

On another front… I had a guy I dated over 8 years ago look me up on fb and that was such a shock.  After responding to him and catching up for about 20 mins he proceeds to tell me that he made the biggest mistake of his life letting me go so long ago. I was like wow, that was out of nowhere. I asked why and he said he didn’t know what he had until I walked out of his life.  He said that he tried to find me over the years and was unable.  He said that he didn’t know just how much he loved me until I was gone.  I was floored.  I really cared about this guy back then.  I never expressed how much I cared about him because he had this wall up and kept me at arms length away.  He never expressed his true feelings to me, so I had no clue.  He asked me what ever happened to us, why did I leave him.  I honestly didn’t know.  I think at the time I was dating a couple of different guys and someone or something became more interesting or became more of a serious deal and I walked away from him.  That’s the only thing I can think of.   So now’s he’s making it known that if he was to ever get another chance he would never make that same mistake twice. So that’s sorta strange.

I did mention it to Chris because I did give the guy my number, his name is James by the way in case I later decide to tell something else. I’m sure something might come up again.  So I did tell Chris about it… He didn’t seem to worried.   But the week after we came home from my mom’s for Thanksgiving as we were sitting on the couch watching tv. I was on the computer not really paying to much attention and Chris said is that what you want and I looked up and saw a jewelry commercial on the tv.  I said what? Diamonds? of course you can’t go wrong with diamonds.  He’s been at me about what I want for Christmas and my birthday for weeks now.  He then said no, the other.  I said what other.  He said, TO GET MARRIED.   I almost choked.  I said whoa, that was outta the blue. Where did that come from.  He said well it’s been on my mind a lot lately.  I said, what’s been on your mind.  He said well, have we waited long enough, how long is long enough, how long should you wait, should I say something, should I just come out and ask, should we talk about it, those kinds of things.  I was so shocked.  I just kept taking a drink of water every time he stopped talking because I didn’t know what to say.  I finally said well that really came out of the blue.  Then I got up and went to the bathroom.  I didn’t really know what to think of all of that.  Was that suppose to be a question? Was that just information? Is he just testing the waters to see what I might say?  WHAT THE HELL??  I know I am not ready to get married. I know that for a fact.  I won’t be for some time.  I know I love Chris or I wouldn’t put up with half of the stuff I have and still put up with on a regular basis… but there are just unresolved things that need to be finalized, taken care of and discussed before we even get to the point of discussing that topic.  He’s also really pushing us going to court to get custody of his son, and to be completely honest I don’t want custody of his son.  Besides the fact that the costs it would take to go to court would all be put on me, I do not want his son living with us full time.  I have voiced that to Chris a couple of times and all it does is cause a huge fight.  So if it comes down to it, that will be a cause for us to split.  That I know for sure.  I am not going to budge on that point there.

I got my 12 Days of Christmas Swop package in the mail last week and I am super excited to start blogging about my gifts starting Monday the 10th… I’m excited for Janet to get her package and to read her posts as she opens her gifts.

Well, I will close for now, cause my fingers are worn out, and I need a break.  I will be back soon.  Happy Hump Day Folks !!
~McQty~

The Good, the Bad, and the Rest

OMG !! There is so much to tell you.

So lets start with the Bad Stuff…

**I have been so busy lately I haven’t made the time to blog. So sorry for that.  But now’s my chance to catch up (mustard).
**I haven’t made a whole lot of time for much other than work.
**My good friend Sass-a-Frass lost her father-in-law and my heart goes out to her and her family. It’s never easy to lose a loved one and I know it’s been hard on her husband watching his father battle his illness.
**Just at my regular job, not counting my pt job, I worked 98.75 hrs over the last two weeks.
**I haven’t gotten all my shopping done for my swap partner. I have to get on the ball with this, gotta have it wrapped and mailed by Saturday.
**I didn’t go into work at my pt job and I didn’t call in or answer the phone when my boss called me or return his phone calls when he left a message.  This is not like me at all.  I just really don’t know what to say to him. I have mixed feelings about quitting and was kinda hopping he would just fire me, but then again I have never been fired from a job either.  He hasn’t fired me either.  He still calls and asks if I’m coming back or not.  I would have already fired my ass.

Now on to some Good stuff…

**I have been working on my mini-trees and have come up with some creative ideas and have only gotten better with each tree.
**I took off the weekend to spend some time with my sweetie, to sleep in and to get my hair done.
**I died my hair darker for the fall/winter season and I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE it !!!!
**I worked 98.75 hours in 2 weeks which means 18.75 hrs of overtime – OMG can’t wait until tomorrow for pay day !!!
**My sister, bro-in-law and mom came through town on Friday and I got to have lunch with them, it was great to visit, but it went by way to fast.
**My mom is spending the week with us and I took off Tues and Wed for a road trip with mom to Oklahoma.
**Today I have some down-time to catch-up (mustard) on my blogging and emails.
**The weather here in OK is gorgeous today. I took a couple of pictures of the beautiful scenery around us.  I love the trees and the fall colors all around.
**I am loving the time with my mom chatting and laughing and giving her a hard time.
**I got assigned my 12 Days of Christmas Swop partner and found out who my “Santa” was as well.  My “Santa” will be Cheryl and I will be “Santa” for Janet.
**I am super excited to shop for Janet and trying to come up with some creative gift ideas.  I want to find things that she may not be able to get in Austrailia or Zurich.
**I am SUPER ELATED OVER THE MOON EXCITED that when seeing my dr today I found out that I have lost another 3 lbs since 11/04. Yeah in 10 days I have lost 3 lbs… WHOOP WHOOP !!! I was so excited that when the nurse called me back and started to take my blood pressure I told her it might come up high and she asked why, I told her I was excited to see I had just lost another 3 lbs.  YEP it was up 175/85.  Well when the dr came in she said it was high and I told her what I had told the nurse. She said she would check again before I left.  Stay tuned for the REST of the story…
**I was pleased to find out that my A1C dropped from 8.3 down to 7.2 WHOOO HOOO !!! I need to now get it 2 point more lower and then I will be in the good 🙂
**I met with the director at the YMCA and I will be set up with my trainer this week and start my water aerobics classes… EXCITED !!! I hope this trainer doesn’t kill me.

Now the REST of the story…

**So for my Christmas swop we are just suppose to open one present a day and then blog about the process in some way.  I of course like to do things a little differnet and be original so I think I might take pictures of the item before I wrap it…. but up close, really close, like where you can’t make out what it is, but gives a clue maybe and then ask Janet to look at the pics before opening the items and see if she can guess any of the presents.  See if she can blog about her guesses and then she can open them daily and see if she gets any right.  I just think that might add some fun and mystery and excitement to it.
**My dr was really pleased with all the changes I have made with my diet and how I am trying to better things and move forward. She also took my bp again before I left and it was 110/74… she laughed and said I guess you really were excited 🙂  YEPPERS 🙂

Well that’s really all I have time for today, I hope everyone is having a wonderful week.  Happy Hump Day. Blessings to all.

That’s All Folks !!
~McQty~

Giving Thanks – Day 2

Happy November 2nd fellow bloggers/readers.

I have some great things to be thankful for today and so I am here to share with you.

**I am thankful that I made an appt (and I’m keeping it) with the Director at the YMCA to meet with a trainer and get started on the right foot when it comes to exercise.
**I’m thankful that I took a chance – I recently emailed the Director of said YMCA to ask if they offered discounted rates for people that had a medical necessity for exercise.  She said not really, that they have a std fee based usually, but they could see if I qualified for assistance.  I explained to her about my Diabetes and all that goes along with that diagnosis, all the meds I am on and how much those cost me and she got back to me and got me a discounted rate !!! WHOO HOOO – never know till you ask.
**I’m thankful that my blood sugars are as good as they are as of late and I am thankful for sticking to taking my meds as I should which helps with all of that. (GO FIGURE)
**I’m thankful that I took of tomorrow from the PT job so that I can get some things done and go to this appt.
**I’m thankful for my amazing friends and family.  They truly mean the world to me.

That’s it for today – I hope you all have a wonderful Friday and weekend.
~McQty~

Where’s the time go?

Where the heck did October go? 2012 is almost over.  Where does the time go?  This past weekend we made a quick trip back home to see my family and watch my youngest nephew play in his last soccer game of the season.  I miss the days when I got to go and watch the kids in their sporting events.  Working 2 jobs just does not allow me that luxury anymore.  I took Saturday off from the pt job and we headed out Friday night after work.  I made sure my sister didn’t say anything to Frankie cause I wanted him to be surprised.  I love how excited he gets when I come home to visit. He is such an awesome kid.  Well we made it to town just after 9pm and I told my sister we needed to grab some dinner b/c we didn’t stop to eat on the way, so we decided to all meet up at Taco Casa. I love their nachos !! So we got there before my sister arrived and she and I were texting each other back and forth the whole way to the place.  The texts were sooo funny.  Here are some of the texts… (I can be a dork when I get excited and I was definitely excited) We cut it close because we had to go by my mom’s to drop off my dogs so they were not in the car while we ate.  My sister had picked my mom up some food and was in route to her house… So we dropped off the dogs and left asap.

SISTER: Getting moms food now and going to take it to her. 
ME: We have to drop the dogs off there. We are dropping them off now then leaving for TC.
ME: Leaving for TC now.
SISTER: I’m heading to moms
ME: We left there, don’t let Frankie go in cause he will see our dogs.  Be sure to park far enough back in the driveway that he can’t see into the house.
SISTER:I’ll meet you at TC in a minute. 
ME: Hurry I am hungry
SISTER: I’m trying. 
ME: Tell me when you do the drop off at mom’s.  This Chicken has flown the coop. 
ME: The blue bird is near it’s destination (my car is blue)
SISTER: I just did the drop off, now turning onto highway.
ME: The blue bird has landed and is waiting for you at the TC. 
ME: The blue bird will land on the other side of beaner joint so he doesn’t see us.
SISTER: K
ME: We have landed.
ME: We are waiting on the silver bullet with the little Indian boy to arrive (my sister’s van is silver and we are native american)
SISTER: I’m in the red wagon. Just passed the truck stop. (she had my moms vehicle)
ME: OHHH blue bird is waiting on Red Robin.
SISTER: @ the Walmart stop sign.
ME: Red Robin has a broken wing, it’s moving slow.
SISTER: @ 4 way stop.
ME: I’m about to fry up that bird and eat it. 
SISTER: Pullin in.

So we waited for them to enter the building and then we went around and entered behind them. We stood there for a good minute before Frankie finally turned around and saw me and the look on his little face was priceless.  I love that face !!  He was so excited and I was so happy to surprise him.  First thing he said was you can go to my game tomorrow… I said that’s the reason I am here.

The next morning we were up bright and early, bundled up (it’s COLD in Tx) and headed to the field.  They won their game 4-1 and ended up coming in 2nd place.  His team also won the sportsmanship award and his coach got coach of the year.  I was so proud.

I have to tell you, I laughed so hard during his game, I literally had tears.  After half time, Frankie was running out onto the field in his green shirt and socks.  His dad who is usually really quiet and reserved and also embarrasses easily yelled out – GO GREEN GO !!!  I heard (GO GRINGO) I turned to him and said who the heck are you calling a GRINGO ??  He said what? I said, you said GO GREEN GO (GO GRINGO) and we all busted out laughing.  It was so funny.  Then I said the funny thing is, a mexican is calling another mexican a GRINGO.  I could not stop laughing.  Just as I had regained my composure and dried my eyes, another parent down the way yells GO GREEN GO (GO GRINGO) and I lost it all over again.  The little things that amuse me… sooo funny.  We then did some grilling and had a cake for my mom’s birthday since I won’t be able to be there on the 7th when her real day comes around.  She was surprised as well cause she had no idea.  The time went way to fast and we were back on the road to home to get ready for work on Sunday.

I hope you all had a great weekend and found something to make you smile.  My sister’s kids (my babies) definitely make me smile.

Happy Monday All !!
~McQty~

 

The one I let go…

Yep, he’s not the one that GOT AWAY, he’s the one I let go.  I walked away from one of the best boyfriends I have ever had.  When I moved to the DFW area in Jan of 2000 I knew, NO ONE.  I think I had only been to this area only 2 times before and that was passing through.  I had to learn my way around, find a place to live, make new friends and FAST !  I met HT that first fall that I was here and he sorta swept me off my feet.   He was so smart and driven and just an all around great guy.  He had money to spend, but was frugal.  He was a suit and tie kinda guy but always looked like a college student.  I used to give him a hard time about him being a “professional student” because he had so much education and was still going to school.  When I met him he had 2 Masters and 2 Bachelors and was still going to school.  Since then he has gotten his Doctrine.   He’s not one you want to play trivia games with for sure.  We had similar interests and got along well.  I was so green back then, I had just moved from a small town that I had grown up in for most of my life that didn’t even have a Wal-Mart, so moving to the “big city” was like Alice walking through the looking glass (and just as crazy).  HT was a very giving person, well traveled and experienced in all areas of life.  He opened my eyes to so many things.  He spoiled me rotten, literally.  I think I would definitely consider myself spoiled at times and now I am accustomed to getting what I want and having things my way that it makes it difficult for other people in my life at times.  I can be such a brat !  Anyway, I experienced a lot of first with HT.  He took me on my first trip to Vegas (of course he paid for everything).  My first “real” trip/vacation was when he took me to LA/Vegas/San Diego. Our vacation was lasted about 9 days I think.  He spoiled me on this trip, in LA he took me to Universal Studios, Mann’s Chinese Theatre, Wax Museum, Rodeo Drive.  We drove to Vegas after 2 days in LA and stayed at the Luxor, he took me to some amazing shows.  He took me to see Penn & Teller with backstage passes to meet the two after the show.  Then after 4 days in Vegas we went to San Diego to a private resort area where clothing was optional.  For the record, I was so against going there and was literally terrified.  The closer we got it started raining and so no naked folks were out running around, thank goodness.  I think my mom got a kick out of when I called her from inside our cabin telling her I was hiding out inside while HT was walking around with just his flip flops on… OMG (I laugh so hard thinking about it now) It was really amazing at night though to go down to the pool when no one was there and swim naked. I loved that.  I didn’t like the view at the tennis courts the next day watching the old women and men playing tennis minus their clothes. I swear I was the youngest person there.  We left and went to the San Diego Zoo which was amazing. I loved all the animals and such.  This was an amazing vacation.  He took me to have my first bite of sushi and I fell in love with it.  He taught me to try so many new things that I never would have otherwise and just really opened my eyes to all sorts of things.  Unfortunately after a year and half and living with him, I knew he was not the “forever” one. I just didn’t feel that fire in my belly or lower regions that I thought I should for a man I want to spend forever with.  Hate to say it, but this is my place to be honest as I want to be and one of my biggest turn offs was that he was uncircumcised and it sorta grossed me out.  It was like playing hide and seek with a turtle.  Here I am, now I’m gone, here I am again.  It was more funny to me than it was a turn on and I just had a hard time kissing that turtle. (SORRY MOM, just being honest)  I loved HT, very much and he was so good to me, but I couldn’t be his forever either.  We split and I moved out and got my own apt. I had nothing at that time as far as furniture and he actually furnished my apt.  He bought my living room furniture (sofa, love seat, coffee table, end tables, lamps) . He bought my bed (beautiful solid wood sleigh bed with pillow top mattress) . He bought me a full computer set up, desk and chair because I was wanting to go back to school and said I would need it.  Even after we broke up we stayed very close.  I went right back to dating which he told me a week later that it crushed him that I moved on so fast.  Well I had known the way I felt for awhile, so I was over the hurt sooner than he was.  He didn’t date anyone for some time. We still went out all the time to the movies, dinner and such so it was like we were still dating just not calling it that and not sleeping together.  Even after splitting up we still went on vacations together. He took me to Vegas 2 more times.  One trip to vegas we took was for 7 days because he was playing in a hockey tournament… 7 days is tooo long to be in Vegas.  I was exhausted and ready to come home for sure.  He was always so good about flowers for v-day, my birthday and always my favs.  He still used to do that even when he started dating another girl.  She didn’t like the idea of how much time we spent together and how he still bought me gifts while he was dating her.  Let me tell you about one of the most romantic things he EVER did, and this was after we had already split up and were NO longer a couple.  I’m pretty sure I was dating someone else at this time because he had comment on the flowers I had rec’d that were sitting on the counter when he came over to give me my present.  We sat down on the couch and he had a small gift bag and he gave me a card out of it and said that’s all he had for me but would get me something later. I was like, WHAT?? and then he pulled a little box out. I opened it and it was small diamond earrings from Kay Jewelers.  They were great but I looked around him as if he had more stuff. He says, gosh you barely looked at those. I felt bad and was all, no they are GREAT, I love em. I was just seeing what you were hiding, he said nothing and gave me the little bag and it had a little envelope in it the size of a business card.  It had my name on the outside and when I opened it, I pulled out a business card which was from Tiffany’s and he said flip it over and I did and it said there is something waiting for you at Tiffany’s.  I freaked the hell out. I was like OMG, lets go lets go.  The Tiffany’s store is sorta far away so we drove all the way down to the galleria to go there.  I felt so under dressed going in. He told me to go up to the counter and give them the card.  So I did and they brought me this beautiful necklace that had a heart pendant on it.  It was awesome, but he said if I didn’t like it and wanted something else I could look around.  I loved it, but wanted to still look.  I found another necklace that I liked more and so he switched them and paid the difference in price for the one I ended up getting.  It was pretty awesome.  He was always surprising me like that.  One time he came over to my apt and when I left the room he put a Tiffany’s box on my fireplace mantle between some candles and waited for me to find it.  I loved his creativity !! He was always doing stuff like this for me.  Even when I was dating my ex husband, HT had asked me what I wanted for my bday/christmas.  I would always answer whatever but you can’t go wrong with jewelry.  That year I got a ring from Tiffany’s.  It was an eternal band, nothing fancy, but it was beautiful and I think a symbol that we would always be connected in one way or another.

Well time has gone by and he finally got over the crushed feeling I left him with and after dating a woman for the last 10 years and her harping to get married, she finally got her way.  The reason I say that, is I know his wife, through him. She used to hate me b/c she hated how much time and all the things he did with me. I showed her I was no harm that if I wanted him she would have never met him.  I think she got jealous at some of the things he did for me but he’s done so much for her too.  Anyway he used to have long conversations about her and their relationship and how he wasn’t sure she was a forever for him.  Well he got to the point where I don’t think he wants to be alone and that was a way to make sure he’s not.  Anyway, they got married in March after a brief engagement.  He’s been working over in Italy and Paris for the last several years as a professor and now he has taken a job in Quebec so he is moving there today.  He called me up and said he wanted to see me and take me to dinner before leaving today, so we met and had dinner, yummy sushi, last night and visited until they kicked us outta the restaurant.  It was good catching up.  He’s already wanting to know when I’m coming up to visit.  I was like… April, when the snow melts. HAHA

Anyway, I am so thankful to have met HT and to have had him in my life the past 12+ years.  I wish him the best in Quebec, but he told me he wasn’t selling his house here, the house we lived in together.  And that they would be back in 4 years.  He has everything so well planned out, I wish I was that organized.

Some people are meant to cross your path and others are meant to walk along that path with you.  I am thankful that HT walked down my path.

~McQty~