Say it like you mean it.

Well I previously posted that last night Chris and I finally got into it. Things were so not going well at all and it was a very restless night for me.  Turns out it was quite the restless night for Chris as well, but not for the same reasons.  Turns out he was up chatting with an “old” friend on facebook… I happened to log into his fb account today and found their conversation that went on to about 330 this morning. So I copied the conversation he had with her for your reading pleasure as well.  He definitely confirms that I have been asking him to get a place for him and his son for over 2 months and he just disregarded my wishes.  

Chris: 

hey you there

Jennifer: hi
Chris: 

hello
Jennifer: whats up?

Chris: not much just needed someone to talk to

and you were online

Jennifer: Is everything ok
Chris: no not really
Jennifer: I juts got my ass kicked in farkel
Chris:
 lol. my son just moved back in with me. 
Jennifer: 
how is that going? 
Chris:
 but samantha does not want him here
Jennifer:
 oic, y? 
Chris: 
she says she is afraid of him cause he drew a picture one time of her with a knife in samantha’s head
Jennifer: 
he’s a kid
Chris:
 my son has been getting into a lot of trouble at school lately and fighting a lot she says he is very aggressive and it makes her feel unsafe. She told me this 2 months ago and I did not know what to say.  It made  me feel like I am wasting my time here with her.  I thought she wanted to be a family and she does not want to deal with my son. Yes he comes with issues but he is my son and will always be my son.
Jennifer: Right
Chris: 3 days before Christmas CPS called me and said they had removed my son from Stormi’s home, it was very unexpected. I had no choice but to have hi move in here.  Tonight she told me she wants me out.
Jennifer: Why did they take him?
Chris: Cause his brother overdosed on someones medication, they removed all the kids.
Jennifer: Oh crap. Maybe CPS can help you get a place…Ive heard sometimes they can.
Chris: she also says I do not communicate with her enough. I can get a place I am not worried about that. My boss will help me. I am just worried about not having a VEHICLE.  She got a 2nd vehicle 4 months ago so I would have a vehicle to get to and from work and now it is her vehicle and that leaves me stranded.  No way to get to work…if I move close to work then there is no buses to get to the train station to get to school.  I am just stressing really hard. I know everything will be fine.
Jennifer: When does she want you out?
Chris: She just said she wanted us out. I guess I am going to ask my boss tomorrow to help me get into a place ASAP. I have to go and report in the morning.  I guess I am not emotionally available for her cause I am trying to work everyday and go to school to make more money when I work and I already have trouble getting in community service hours and NA meetings.  Now I am not making enough time for her and I am being selfish.
Jennifer:  you just busy
Chris:sorry for spilling all that on you, thanks for listening
Jennifer: no problem hope everything works out ok
Chris: me too

I did call him up at work and ask if his boss helped him find a place today.  He said no.  I said well that’s what you told Jennifer you were gonna do.  He knew I had checked his fb then.  I then found out that the probation officer didn’t do anything to him about not doing his community service and NOT going to his NA meetings. I have to say I was quite disappointed in the system.  What do we pay all these state and county taxes for when the system is obviously failing?  Then I asked him if he got his son enrolled in school and he said no and I asked why and he said because I have to go down to the school and sign some paperwork saying that his son lives in my home.  I started laughing and so ohhh of course I do… Just another thing I HAVE to do.  Well tonight was rough yet again.  We actually got into a conversation and he kept saying, I’m sorry you feel that way.  It was driving me nuts.  I said it’s not about the way I feel, it’s about the facts.  Let’s lay it out there.  I said did I or did I not come to you months ago with my concerns? Did I not tell you what I was worried about, concerned about and what did you say? NOTHING?? he said yes.  He said he was upset that I didn’t welcome his son with open arms. I said that not everyone was going to and that he couldn’t get upset about that. He cannot force his son on me and he cannot force me to be uncomfortable in my own home.  He kept saying how he gives me his paychecks and I said and what does that go to? His probation, his court fees, his fines, his school, books, etc.  I said then when that’s all gone who has to pay the rent, utilities, the food and the rest of the bills and he said you (ME).  He said that he sees it as his and my money being put together as OUR money to pay OUR bills and that’s how I should look too.  So I said basically what your saying is if I want to be with you and live with you then I have to pay your bills and cover you ass because you don’t have a job that pays you enough to take care of yourself.  It took him awhile, but he finally said yes that’s true.  He said what other choice do I have.  I said get another job.  I said I did.  Why is it that I make great money but had to get a 2nd job to help cover your bills and worked 7 days a week for over a year for your bills?? But you can’t do the same?  I told him that this was a joke and that this was not a relationship and that he used me for what he could get out of me and that this free ride had ended and he needed to get out.  He said he would and then proceeded to ask me if i would help him move out.  OMG, I think my head almost exploded.

So we shall see…

The one I let go…

Yep, he’s not the one that GOT AWAY, he’s the one I let go.  I walked away from one of the best boyfriends I have ever had.  When I moved to the DFW area in Jan of 2000 I knew, NO ONE.  I think I had only been to this area only 2 times before and that was passing through.  I had to learn my way around, find a place to live, make new friends and FAST !  I met HT that first fall that I was here and he sorta swept me off my feet.   He was so smart and driven and just an all around great guy.  He had money to spend, but was frugal.  He was a suit and tie kinda guy but always looked like a college student.  I used to give him a hard time about him being a “professional student” because he had so much education and was still going to school.  When I met him he had 2 Masters and 2 Bachelors and was still going to school.  Since then he has gotten his Doctrine.   He’s not one you want to play trivia games with for sure.  We had similar interests and got along well.  I was so green back then, I had just moved from a small town that I had grown up in for most of my life that didn’t even have a Wal-Mart, so moving to the “big city” was like Alice walking through the looking glass (and just as crazy).  HT was a very giving person, well traveled and experienced in all areas of life.  He opened my eyes to so many things.  He spoiled me rotten, literally.  I think I would definitely consider myself spoiled at times and now I am accustomed to getting what I want and having things my way that it makes it difficult for other people in my life at times.  I can be such a brat !  Anyway, I experienced a lot of first with HT.  He took me on my first trip to Vegas (of course he paid for everything).  My first “real” trip/vacation was when he took me to LA/Vegas/San Diego. Our vacation was lasted about 9 days I think.  He spoiled me on this trip, in LA he took me to Universal Studios, Mann’s Chinese Theatre, Wax Museum, Rodeo Drive.  We drove to Vegas after 2 days in LA and stayed at the Luxor, he took me to some amazing shows.  He took me to see Penn & Teller with backstage passes to meet the two after the show.  Then after 4 days in Vegas we went to San Diego to a private resort area where clothing was optional.  For the record, I was so against going there and was literally terrified.  The closer we got it started raining and so no naked folks were out running around, thank goodness.  I think my mom got a kick out of when I called her from inside our cabin telling her I was hiding out inside while HT was walking around with just his flip flops on… OMG (I laugh so hard thinking about it now) It was really amazing at night though to go down to the pool when no one was there and swim naked. I loved that.  I didn’t like the view at the tennis courts the next day watching the old women and men playing tennis minus their clothes. I swear I was the youngest person there.  We left and went to the San Diego Zoo which was amazing. I loved all the animals and such.  This was an amazing vacation.  He took me to have my first bite of sushi and I fell in love with it.  He taught me to try so many new things that I never would have otherwise and just really opened my eyes to all sorts of things.  Unfortunately after a year and half and living with him, I knew he was not the “forever” one. I just didn’t feel that fire in my belly or lower regions that I thought I should for a man I want to spend forever with.  Hate to say it, but this is my place to be honest as I want to be and one of my biggest turn offs was that he was uncircumcised and it sorta grossed me out.  It was like playing hide and seek with a turtle.  Here I am, now I’m gone, here I am again.  It was more funny to me than it was a turn on and I just had a hard time kissing that turtle. (SORRY MOM, just being honest)  I loved HT, very much and he was so good to me, but I couldn’t be his forever either.  We split and I moved out and got my own apt. I had nothing at that time as far as furniture and he actually furnished my apt.  He bought my living room furniture (sofa, love seat, coffee table, end tables, lamps) . He bought my bed (beautiful solid wood sleigh bed with pillow top mattress) . He bought me a full computer set up, desk and chair because I was wanting to go back to school and said I would need it.  Even after we broke up we stayed very close.  I went right back to dating which he told me a week later that it crushed him that I moved on so fast.  Well I had known the way I felt for awhile, so I was over the hurt sooner than he was.  He didn’t date anyone for some time. We still went out all the time to the movies, dinner and such so it was like we were still dating just not calling it that and not sleeping together.  Even after splitting up we still went on vacations together. He took me to Vegas 2 more times.  One trip to vegas we took was for 7 days because he was playing in a hockey tournament… 7 days is tooo long to be in Vegas.  I was exhausted and ready to come home for sure.  He was always so good about flowers for v-day, my birthday and always my favs.  He still used to do that even when he started dating another girl.  She didn’t like the idea of how much time we spent together and how he still bought me gifts while he was dating her.  Let me tell you about one of the most romantic things he EVER did, and this was after we had already split up and were NO longer a couple.  I’m pretty sure I was dating someone else at this time because he had comment on the flowers I had rec’d that were sitting on the counter when he came over to give me my present.  We sat down on the couch and he had a small gift bag and he gave me a card out of it and said that’s all he had for me but would get me something later. I was like, WHAT?? and then he pulled a little box out. I opened it and it was small diamond earrings from Kay Jewelers.  They were great but I looked around him as if he had more stuff. He says, gosh you barely looked at those. I felt bad and was all, no they are GREAT, I love em. I was just seeing what you were hiding, he said nothing and gave me the little bag and it had a little envelope in it the size of a business card.  It had my name on the outside and when I opened it, I pulled out a business card which was from Tiffany’s and he said flip it over and I did and it said there is something waiting for you at Tiffany’s.  I freaked the hell out. I was like OMG, lets go lets go.  The Tiffany’s store is sorta far away so we drove all the way down to the galleria to go there.  I felt so under dressed going in. He told me to go up to the counter and give them the card.  So I did and they brought me this beautiful necklace that had a heart pendant on it.  It was awesome, but he said if I didn’t like it and wanted something else I could look around.  I loved it, but wanted to still look.  I found another necklace that I liked more and so he switched them and paid the difference in price for the one I ended up getting.  It was pretty awesome.  He was always surprising me like that.  One time he came over to my apt and when I left the room he put a Tiffany’s box on my fireplace mantle between some candles and waited for me to find it.  I loved his creativity !! He was always doing stuff like this for me.  Even when I was dating my ex husband, HT had asked me what I wanted for my bday/christmas.  I would always answer whatever but you can’t go wrong with jewelry.  That year I got a ring from Tiffany’s.  It was an eternal band, nothing fancy, but it was beautiful and I think a symbol that we would always be connected in one way or another.

Well time has gone by and he finally got over the crushed feeling I left him with and after dating a woman for the last 10 years and her harping to get married, she finally got her way.  The reason I say that, is I know his wife, through him. She used to hate me b/c she hated how much time and all the things he did with me. I showed her I was no harm that if I wanted him she would have never met him.  I think she got jealous at some of the things he did for me but he’s done so much for her too.  Anyway he used to have long conversations about her and their relationship and how he wasn’t sure she was a forever for him.  Well he got to the point where I don’t think he wants to be alone and that was a way to make sure he’s not.  Anyway, they got married in March after a brief engagement.  He’s been working over in Italy and Paris for the last several years as a professor and now he has taken a job in Quebec so he is moving there today.  He called me up and said he wanted to see me and take me to dinner before leaving today, so we met and had dinner, yummy sushi, last night and visited until they kicked us outta the restaurant.  It was good catching up.  He’s already wanting to know when I’m coming up to visit.  I was like… April, when the snow melts. HAHA

Anyway, I am so thankful to have met HT and to have had him in my life the past 12+ years.  I wish him the best in Quebec, but he told me he wasn’t selling his house here, the house we lived in together.  And that they would be back in 4 years.  He has everything so well planned out, I wish I was that organized.

Some people are meant to cross your path and others are meant to walk along that path with you.  I am thankful that HT walked down my path.

~McQty~