I want to apologize ahead of time for this post, it will probably be all over the place so try and bare with me as I update you guys on the latest happenings. (This post is from Wed 01/09/13)
I just really want to curl up in a ball and just cry. I’m so just over everything today. Shit with Chris last night was just to much to take. I feel like I have wasted 5 yrs of my life being stupid. I feel so stupid. Then I have to deal with Ken today and his bs and that had me all emotional… I’m just so over them both. I just don’t understand. Chris and I had a go at it last night and it all boiled down to basically that he doesn’t have a job that he makes a lot of money and that his money goes to his bills and then he doesn’t have enough to help me with the rest of the reg bills, I pay all of that. He said it could be worse if he didn’t have a job and I could be paying all of his bills. I was like WHAT?
He said I look at it as his money and my money, he said he looks at it as he takes my check and his check and puts them together as OUR money. I said of course you do cause you don’t make any money and my money covers it all. He said that’s how families work. I said that’s easy for him to say b/c he’s the one being taken care of. I said I have taken care of him our whole 5 yrs together. He said that he is trying to better himself for the future. I said what does that do for me? That benefits me in no way what-so-ever. I said what do you contribute to this situation? Nothing. I said you don’t even contribute here around the house because you say your too tired from work and school and so you don’t do anything around here. I said let me ask you this… BOTTOM LINE – if I want to be with you and live with you… then I HAVE TO PAY to do so… (cover him and his bills) he didn’t want to answer… but after I kept asking for several minutes he said YES. I said that’s what I figured, I’m glad you could finally admit it. He said what’s the alternative. I said what’s sad is that you never would consider taking on a 2nd job to make more money to pay your part. I said you’re perfectly fine with me taking a 2nd job and working 7 days a week when I don’t NEED to because my one job takes care of us both… but in order to live comfortably I take a 2nd job and you reap the rewards. I said lets use this as an example… if we were neighbors and you didn’t make enough money to pay your rent and utilities… do you expect your landlord just to cover it? He said no, he would have to move to another place that he could afford… I said there you go… you need to move somewhere you can afford, cause this free ride is OVER. I said this is NOT a family and this is NOT a relationship. I said you are not a partner or an equal in this and you do not contribute and I have no more to give to you. Then he had the nerve to ask me if I would help him move.
I then asked him later if he got his son enrolled in school and he said no and I asked why and he said because you (meaning me) have to go to the school and sign some paperwork saying that his son lives here in the house. I just started laughing. I said of course I do. I HAVE TO DO THIS HUH? I said you don’t even ask for things… you just tell me what I HAVE TO DO. He didn’t even apologize, he just walked out of the room.
GOING TO CURL UP NOW !!